20 Disgusting Jobs That You Never, Ever Want
If the sound of the alarm on Monday morning has you down, you are not alone. Many people wake up to jobs that involve pointless paperwork, office politics, awful coffee, and with the economy the way it is, a possible pink slip awaiting to thank you for your years of hard service.
But before you get too down in the dumps, check out the below. They are 20 disgusting jobs that you never, ever want and are sure to have you appreciating your current job like never before.
Well Known Disgusting Jobs That You Never, Ever Want
You may have heard of these jobs and need a little help in figuring out why they are so disgusting.
- 1. Proctologist : The six figure salary is definitely a pro, but with a specialty in the rectum, is proctologist the medical specialty for you? Conducting both hands on and visual exams of the anus of every man, woman, child, and elderly person who walks into your office easily makes this one of the most disgusting jobs you never want. The same goes true for nurses associated with the profession. This site has hilarious cartoons with more.
2. Urologist : Things aren’t much better on this end, either. What a proctologist does for the rear, a urologist for the front. This physician has specialized knowledge and skill regarding problems of the male and female urinary tract and the male reproductive organs. This often involves invasive and painful exams for both patient and doctor.
3. Police Officer : With a company car, weapon, and sense of power, what’s to hate about being a police officer? Nothing, unless you count the cavity searches that police officers regularly have to do. With male and female suspects of all ages and hygiene levels trying to hide contraband in every orifice and fat flap imaginable, law enforcement becomes less glamorous and far more disgusting.
4. Pathologist : If performing the above functions sounds disgusting to you, imagine performing them on the dead. A pathologist studies and diagnoses disease and other causes of death by examining dead bodies. This can often involve performing all of the above, not to mention other disgusting tasks.
5. Sewage Worker : Even though it’s out of the body, sewage workers still come into contact with the worst the human body has to offer. A disgusting necessity, sewage workers keep our homes and streets clean by making sure they are working properly. If you are a sewage worker in America, thank your lucky stars you don’t work in India, as shown in this feature from “Newsweek.”
6. Septic Tank Repair : Although installing a septic tank can be a joy for those who like to work with their hands, attending to a malfunctioning one can be a nightmare. This tank is used to dispense of waste that is flushed and can be found in just about every home, office, and business. A faulty septic tank has to be dug up amongst all of its leaked contents, removed, and repaired or replaced as necessary.
7. Sanitation Worker : Also known as garbage men, this job involves gathering up all the trash from a neighborhood, sorting, and dumping it. With everything from diapers to used female sanitary products inside, this job can be pretty disgusting. However, working for the government does pay well, require little, and is about as recession-proof as any job can get.
8. CTS Decon : As featured in the movie “Sunshine Cleaners,” this profession is better known as crime scene clean up. It involves cleaning up after a crime scene that could involve anything from rape to murder. Things that may need cleaning include blood, feces, decomposing material, and much more. There are also certain health hazards to the job but it does pay well.
9. Hotel Maid : This profession involves cleaning up after the living but can be no less disgusting. Guests at a hotel know good and well that they won’t be cleaning up after themselves. When you think that many people aren’t that clean in their own homes, what they do to a hotel room can be plenty disgusting. In this article, a hotel maid comes clean about what really goes on behind the scenes.
10. Porn Star : It may be the dream of every teenage boy who has just been formally introduced to his hormones, but this is actually one of the most disgusting jobs that you never, ever want. The sex acts required are rarely done with protection, disease screening, and other precautions an average person would ask of a sex partner. As a result, incidences of STD’s are far higher for actors in pornographic material than any other legal profession out there.
Lesser Known Disgusting Jobs That You Never, Ever Want
You may not have heard of these jobs, but that doesn’t make them any less disgusting.
- 11. Medical Waste Biohazard Cooker : Any job that has you coming into contact with medical waste is not only disgusting, but can be dangerous to your own health. Materials that can be handled include urine, semen, feces, blood, and even teeth. This job involves cooking the bags in an oven that cooks the hazards and releases a foul smell.
12. Hazmat Diver : Think smelling hazardous material is bad? Try diving into it. This profession involves diving into an array of hazardous materials to retrieve items or make repairs. This can involve anything from waste lagoons to quarries. A small comfort is the biohazard diving suits that cover the diver from head to toe.
13. Hospital Laundry Worker : The only thing you know for sure as a hospital laundry worker is that those sheets belonged to someone that was sick. At best. At worst, someone threw up, bled, urinated, and did other disgusting things on those sheets before dying in them. As a result, a study was done on the risk undertaken by hospital laundry workers involving hepatitis A.
14. Abattoir Worker : This job involves the slaughter of animals mostly for the meat industry. This can involve prepping the animals, the actual killing, and cleaning up of any remains. They may also be asked to remove hair, skin, or even drain blood.
15. Barnyard Masturbator : If killing animals seems like the most disgusting job in the world, going the other way is also a strong candidate. These workers are actually paid to “stimulate” various barnyard animals to extract sperm for various purposes. Apparently, it is right up there with Microsoft Security Response.
16. Chicken Sexer : Unlike the barnyard job, this one involves deciphering the sex of the animal, rather than participating in it. The sexer literally turns the chick over, feels around, determines whether it is a male or female, and separates them. Disgusting for coming into contact with genitalia and bonus negative points for the stress of one wrong separation ruining an entire crop of chicks.
17. Porta Potty Cleaner : This cleaner sticks strictly to the facilities that people are so desperate to use, they will go outside with little privacy and less cleanliness. Cleaners usually hit their respective marks on a daily basis and with dozens on their lists. This article chronicles the work of a porta potty cleaner who worked at Burning Man.
18. Odor Judge : If working in the cologne profession it is actually a good job, but most odor judges stick to the more disgusting side of the profession. This job entails the actual smelling of odors that are considered unpleasant such as armpits, breath, feet, kitty litter, and others. They are then asked to rank the smell on a scale of one to ten.
19. Fishmonger : This profession involves many aspects of catching and selling fish. The disgusting part comes when it is time to gut the fish. Taking a knife and slicing the fish open to retrieve and dispose of the guts can be a very disgusting task. In fact, there are factories where the workers spend eight hours a day doing just that.
20. Noodler : Ever seen guys who catch catfish the old fashioned way? It involves covering your arm in all sorts of worms, guts, and other sewage. You then wade into catfish infested waters, dip your arm in, and wait for one to bite onto it. Believe it or not, there are actually those who make this their profession.
Although there is much to gross you out in the above 20 disgusting jobs you never, ever want, they are all (with the possible exception of porn star) legitimate forms of earning an honest dollar. In many cases, think of where society would be without sewage workers or septic tank repairmen? And proctologists and urologists may be a hilarious joke until you need one.